Hold on a sec. [footsteps, door slamming, car starting- returning, sits down out of breath, wearing a collector's Mamma Mia t-shirt, baseball cap, and pennent]
Fewwwf. God, what a rush. I totally didn't think Mery Streep was gonna do "Super Trouper" but then BAM- Second Encore! God, sooooooo awesome.
Did someone tell them Mamma Mia was in theaters? I bet they didn't. That's gotta be it. According to NYTimes, Batman grossed $155.3 million in three days, so apparently like, I guess a couple of people actually saw this, so called movie. Me, I'll pass thanks. Especially not when ABBA, my fifth favorite, Swedish Europop/Disco quartet is making it's silverscreen debut. At least I'm not a COMPLETE, dumbass, like some folks seem to be.
I mean, so what if whole segments of Batman, including the three most expensive and intense action sequences of all-time were actually shot in the 60mm IMAX film format, that creates a mindbendingly huge visual and auditory experience that will no doubt confound and amaze the senses. Have you SEEN Colin Firth's rendition of "Knowing Me, Knowing You"!? Guy's like fricking Pavaratti on acid, or some shit.
Movies are all about relatability, you know, and realism. Dark Knight is full of all this ridiculous crap, like large round ammunition, telecommunication privacy threats, and corrupt politicians, yeah right, and when you die, you go to a wonderful place called heaven where your soul can live forever, in peace and harmony- PLEASE. I like stuff with a little meat to it, you know, a little weight of the world type of stuff, in which I see reflections of my own life and surroundings.
I mean, haven't we all, read our mother's diaries only to discover that the absent father figure in our lives could be one of three people mentioned in said diary, since she dated them simultaneously in the years surrounding the time of your birth, and whom you invite to your upcoming wedding which you will have on the exotic yet beautiful mediterranean coast of Greece, where your mother had opened an inn years before? It was like looking through my memoire. How did you do it Bjorn Ulvaeus!? I guess some people just kind of "get-it", and others, *cough*Christopher Nolan*cough*- don't.
So if for SOME insane, behind comprehensible reasoning, you actually want, to see a masked vigilante with rapier wit and a penchant for blind justice, rid a cess pool city of the low-life street crime that creates the poverty and suffering he and has family had vowed to try and relieve- by all means, see your little, Batman picture. Enjoy. But if you ask me, any REAL film fanatic will be nextdoor belting the refrain to "Dancing Queen" in Mamma Mia- which is bound to go down in the anals of film history alongside the other giants of the reel: right in between Bring it On and Cheaper by the Dozen 2 in the top ten of all time.
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