Deck the halls, with pessimistic skepticism

I adore Jewish food. And the cooking of it. But more than that I adore the tradition of religion in general. People have the common misconception that atheists hate religion, and religious believers. Not true. Or at least not in my case. Not only do have a great respect for religious faith and certainty, I'm incredibly jealous.

I would love to believe that some greater power controls my miserable life. I don't, but it would be nice to force the blame of this train wreck on someone else, wouldn't it?

But on an entirely more superficial level, I just miss the ritual. Getting up early on Sunday mornings, and holidays and putting on decently professional/appropriate attire to heave yourself into the family car and sit uncomfortably for an hour- rising on occasion to chant the monotonous tones of the hymns, you don't actually need the Hymnal's to recite. It sounds grim, and it might have been at the time, but retrospect makes everything more palatable. Church itself- never all that important, but the time spent giggling silently about inside jokes passed between my family members during service and the uproarious discussions at brunch afterward- nostalgia.

Americana was my childhood. Label me what you want, but know this, I appreciated fully every moment of my ever-so-traditional upbringing. I'm living the American Dream, and I'm thankful everyday of my luck. My family is incredible and the sole reason for my privileged life. Genuinely. I am blessed, despite my lack of belief in a higher power- I know the lot in life I drew, is far greater than my own worth. So thank you, universe. It's not gone unnoticed, how incredible you've been to me.

But here it is, Christmas, and I just want the traditional family gathering. When you just spent the holiday drinking and watching Always Sunny in Philadelphia episodes, perforated with the occasional Mighty Boosh, there's not much to complain about, but I miss the extended family sometimes. And the big holiday celebration. I know I have what most people dream of, and for the large part, I'm not discontented either, but when I spend all year alone at school, I want the tradition I lost when I gave up my faith.

A blood relative to replace a spiritual one.

Boo hoo, lucky white girl!

Alas, so I saw Doubt today. Liked it a lot. Nice composition. Unbelievable performances by the entire cast, slightly bogged down in setup, but the ending seemed appropriate. The conflict somewhat short lived.

Also, Blagoyevich can eat shit. Corrupt bastard.

Call me loves, London is not far away and I miss you all already.